By the time we have reached middle age we have the face we deserve – a lifetime of smiling, frowning and crying means all our facial expressions have determined and shaped the muscles beneath our skin. While creams and lotions from the outside, and hydration and good quality nutrition from the inside, can slow down the process, nothing can stop it in its tracks.

Today we live in a driven, fast paced society – we are expected to fit more and more into our day and we are pushed to be smarter, faster, richer. This takes a toll on our physical appearance – we are living longer, but wearing ourselves out in the process. And as we go through the ageing process, it is easy to self-criticise, to put ourselves down, to think that because we have the tell tales signs of ageing with the wrinkles and saggy jowls, that we are not as worthy or valued as we were in our youthful years.

A recent study reinforces our thinking – groups of men and women were both asked what age group they were most attracted to. Turns out most women in their teens and twenties are looking for a partner just slightly older than they are – once they hit thirty they are more likely to fancy someone about the same age. Men, however, are a totally different story! Men from twenty to fifty – they all want to be in a relationship with a woman in her twenties – apparently they can age, but not their partner. That recently divorced fifty year old man you know – he is targeting a gorgeous twenty two year old.

What can we read in to this? Women are more attractive when they are young? Men never grow up? Or should we stop judging ourselves on what men think?

Skin care and anti-ageing products advertisements all seem to be targeting the over forty woman – the overwhelming theme being that they need to be fixed – you need to start using these products NOW because when you are fifty it will be too late to reverse the damage. So what is the problem – the idea that at fifty you might actually have a few wrinkles? Or as they should be called – laughter lines.

The way you look is an important part of your personality, but it becomes dangerous when you start thinking that you need to ‘fix’ your appearance in order to be a better person.  And once you realise how much of our beauty regimes revolve around the idea that you have to ‘fix’ yourself, you will realise that on-one is actually as critical of you as you think they are. There is nothing wrong with you – there never was!